seaglassgarden

lots of big and small changes in my life lately. had surgery for the first time, recovered just fine. dealing with a bigass medical bill now (healthcare costs r such a menace)

i thought kinda seriously abt changing jobs for a bit. i think there r some careers that would be good for me, Big Boy type jobs. id be a good project manager. id be a good manager in general. but im not willing to try to find a new job rn. i spent the whole last year just kinda existing and forgetting who i was and who wanted to be, and it's more important to me that i spend time remembering how to be myself. i want to read more and do research and to make art and to make more friends. im too good at being responsible sometimes. i let responsibility take over everything

ive been spending more time with my best friend and sleeping over at his house once a week. he took me grocery shopping and it felt so nice and domestic. he's an interesting one. he's adverse to commitment but he called our shopping trip a date. we're both fwbs and some other undefined thing. im trying to be ok with the non-definition. i have a good time when i stop myself from overanalyzing but i find it reaaaaaal easy to pick apart every little bit of interaction i have with him. he's so social. he's got a whole network and ive never had that. it's kind of intimidating

there's maybe this other guy that im going to meet up with soon. idk abt him tbh. he seems almost too interested in me? like he ghosted me a long time ago and then texted out of the blue, and now when i text he almost always responds right away. idk how to react to that!! like dude aren't you busy. don't you have tasks on the list? anyway

i played a bunch of my favorite rhythm game b4 bed to tire myself out and now it's sleepytime